There are four major questions for networking meetings when you are trying to establish relationship and build influencing by design not by accident. Ask yourself these questions about the person you want create the right impression with:-

1 How do they operate in group interactions and meetings? Do they lead the conversations and think aloud or take a more reserved approach, think before they speak and do more listening than speaking?

2 How detailed are their conversations and contributions? When speaking, do they give a lot of detail, facts and data or do they tend towards headlines, trends and concepts?

3 How do they decide? Do they only consider the logical data or do they think about how people will feel? Does “right” for them mean logically correct or socially correct?

4 How do they structure schedules, meetings and time? Do they have an organised approach with written plans and objectives or do they operate more flexibly and respond or react to things as they emerge?

The answer to each question guides you in how to operate when you are working with them and seeking to build your personal impact and influence. Remember it’s not about you it’s about them…

1 If they tend to initiate discussions and conversations then you will have lots of information to work with. Get ready to do a lot of talking and listening. If, on the other hand, they tend to wait for others to speak first and like to think before they speak you’ll need to slow down, ask careful questions and wait for the answers. Don’t be tempted to jump in and answer for them.

2 If they give detailed answers and like to get things absolutely right you’ll need to be sure of your facts and provide the details they like. If, instead, they tend to provide short answers with impressions and implications rather than detailed descriptions you need to speak less and choose your words carefully – they have a low threshold of boredom…

3 When they are talking about decisions made or choices to consider do they seem logical and rational? Think Star Trek and the famous Mr Spock. No use telling him people will love it – no emotions just the logic. Or do they seem to be interested in the effects on people, social values and how people feel? If you want them to buy you and your idea then your proposal will need to fit their decision making criteria.

4 Do they have timetables or do they seem to let things evolve and emerge and go with the flow? The way they talk about their schedules, deadlines and plans will give you strong clues. Do they know what they’re doing tomorrow or haven’t yet thought about it? If they’re very structured you’re going to suggest a time and date for the future and they’ll know it it’s possible. If they are more flexible in outlook don’t expect a firm date and be prepared to do the chasing to get the next meeting.